Tuesday, September 1, 2026

Part 2: "Succession"

Some Post-Battle Lore

In the battle's aftermath, survivors began to trickle in. Gruuma managed to wrangle what was left of the boyz mob, by some forceful negotiations. To Gruuma's surprise Krekka lived, as did a majority of his Red Stikkaz, when they came skulking into camp one night. Fear soon became anger. Fights broke out amongst the greenskins as long-standing feuds were brought out to be settled. You see, orcs, despite their brutish nature, are similar to the spotted hounds of the Southlands. They see blood, they sense weakness, and they will pounce and tear you to shreds. It takes strength to keep a warband in line, and the ability to channel that energy. Otherwise the cycle of infighting persists. This is what elevates a boss to a warboss.

The sun had begun to set behind the mountains and painted the camp in a pinkish-orange light. The air was crisp; the mountain chill mixed with scents of spruce, smoke, and dung. Around the main fire sat Gruuma with the warband's various big 'uns to discuss what they should do next, unaware his grip on the warband was about to be tested. In the time since their retreat his physique had grown substantially, adapting and reacting to the process of subjugating the warband's more ambitious members. His armor and furs sat tight against him now.

Brokrat, the mangled pig-faced brute who led the footsloggin' lads simply known as Brokrat's Bullies, argued with Krekka over who deserved first pick of the spoils. Typically an orc would remind a goblin his place without any question, but the odd git had proven his worth time and time again. Gruuma would never openly admit it, but would gladly trade Brokrat's ugly mug for two more Krekkas if needed.

"Yer loons cost us da right flank," Brokrat growled, jabbing a thick finger at the shaman. "Bein' as we did da real fightin', da next spoils oughta be ours first."

Krekka didn't so much as flinch. A dry, wheezing cackle rattled out of him, mushroom spores still crusted in the corner of his grin. "Where was dat fightin' spirit when da riders was cuttin' down yer lads while they ran squealin' like stuck pigs?" He rolled a shriveled cap between two fingers, sniffing it once before it vanished into his robes. "Keep runnin' yer gob, Brokrat, and I'll slip somethin' special in yer grog. Won't taste no different goin' down... but ya won't wake up neither."

"Now daz how yer greet yer bozz no iz it?" the snarl of a voice cut through the argument and silenced all around the fire. Gruuma looked toward the edge of camp to see Ugag lumbering toward him with a dozen or so greenskin in tow. A group of snotlings scurried out of his path, one too slow to dodge, catching a metal boot square in the ribs; Ugag punting it clean out of its snotty skin.

The fire crackled in the silence that followed. Every eye around it turned first to Ugag, then to Gruuma, waiting to see which way the wind would blow. Gruuma rose slow, unhurried, and let the silence stretch. He'd grown since Ugag had last stood in this camp: broader through the chest, taller by a head, and for the first time, he could look Ugag in the eye.

"Didn't expect ya crawlin' back," Gruuma said, voice flat, giving nothing away. "Figured da fanatics finally got a taste dey liked."

Ugag's grin didn't waver, though something behind his eyes did. "Takes more'n a bunch of farmers wiv pitchforks to put Ugag in da ground." He jerked his chin toward the fire, toward the space Gruuma had occupied at its head. "Looks like ya been keepin' my seat warm. Why don't you fetch me sum grog, eh?"

A few of the newer boyz laughed. The kind of laugh that comes from not knowing any better. Krekka didn't. Brokrat didn't. They just watched Gruuma, waiting.

Gruuma didn't move for the grog. He didn't move at all, save for his hand, which drifted slow and deliberate to the haft of the chopper at his belt. "Fetch it yerself," he said, voice flat. "Or has runnin' from farmers made ya forget how ta walk?"

The laughter died fast.

Ugag's smile finally cracked. "Careful how ya talk to yer bozz, Gruuma. I made ya. Pulled ya outta da runt pile and put an axe in yer hand." His own hand found the haft of his cleaver. "Don't much fancy watchin' a pup forget who's da dog."

"Den it's a good ting," Gruuma said, drawing his chopper in one smooth motion, "I ain't a pup no more."

Ugag moved first, a wild overhead swing meant to end it before it started. It was the same reckless fury that had gotten him lost in every battle he'd ever fought. Gruuma had watched that fury for two years. He knew its shape better than Ugag knew his own.

He didn't meet the blow. He stepped inside it.

The cleaver whistled past his ear and buried itself in the dirt where Gruuma had stood a heartbeat before. By the time Ugag wrenched it free, Gruuma's shoulder was already driving into his chest, and the old boss went down hard among the sparks and scattering coals.

The camp didn't move. No orc reached for a weapon, no goblin dared to run. A warband settling its true business was not something you interrupted, not if you wanted to keep your teeth.

Ugag rolled clear, spitting ash, and came up snarling. "Dat all ya got?"

"Nah." Gruuma's voice was calm, almost bored, the way a boss's voice should be when there was no longer any question how this ended. "Just gettin' started."

Ugag charged again, sloppier this time, strength outrunning sense, same as it always had. Gruuma let the chopper do the thinking his old boss never had. He caught the cleaver on his blade, twisted, and felt the weapon spin free of Ugag's grip and vanish into the dark beyond the fire.

For a moment Ugag just stood there, empty-handed, staring at his own fingers like they'd betrayed him.

"Should've stayed wiv da village," Gruuma said. "Farmers don't ask questions before dey kill ya."

The chopper came down before Ugag could answer. It was not clean, and it was not quick, but it was final. The old boss's head striking the dirt and rolling to a stop at Brokrat's feet, firelight still flickering in eyes that could no longer see.

Gruuma planted his boot on Ugag's chest, hauled the head up by what remained of its jaw, and held it high enough that every greenskin around that fire could see it plain. Blood ran black down his forearm and hissed where it dripped into the coals.

"Ugag's dead." He let the words sit, let them settle over the warband like smoke. "And dis ain't Ugag's mob no more."

It was Krekka, of all of them, who broke the silence. His same dry, wheezing cackle, delighted rather than afraid. "Den whose mob iz it?"

Gruuma looked down at the head in his fist, then out at the firelit ring of faces waiting on his word: Brokrat's raiders, Krekka's Red Stikkaz, the boyz who'd bled on the mountain and the ones who'd run from it... all of them his now, whether they liked it or not.

He turned from the fire and crossed to where his boar stood tethered, its tusks still crusted with dried blood from the battle. Gruuma looped a fist of rope through Ugag's jaw and lashed the head to the saddle, letting it hang loose against the boar's flank. A trophy, a warning, a promise, all in one.

"Gruuma's," he said. "Gruuma da Skullsplitta. And any git wiv a problem wiv dat can come tell Ugag about it."

The boar snorted and stamped, sensing the blood, and around the warband, one by one, the boyz began to roar his name.

Gruuma stands victorious by Sam


+/+/+

I really enjoyed Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor when it first came out. It explored a corner of Tolkien's universe we only get to see briefly in the trilogy. You are a lone ranger, behind enemy lines, in the land of Mordor. Naturally, your main enemies are Orcs and Uruks of all shapes, sizes, and manner. One of my favorite aspects of the game is something called the Nemesis System.

The Nemesis System is this: When the player is killed by an enemy it triggers a chain of events. The NPCs have a hierarchy they adhere to, and your death triggers a cascade of events. Orcs vying for power will challenge one another. These NPCs may succeed and assume power and a following, they may lose and die, or they may simply fill a power vacuum. My favorite part about this is that the game rewards even shitkicker NPCs; if one were to kill you the system elevates them to a named NPC in the hierarchy with their own traits, flaws, and ambition.

Orcs in Warhammer aren't much different as far as Might Makes Right attitude and I drew heavily on the nemesis system to help me flesh out the aftermath of Ugag's defeat and give Gruuma a more Mork'ian vibe. 

A big thanks again to my friend and fellow gamer Sam who took it upon himself to draw his interpretation of Gruuma in the aftermath of the showdown. Please out his blog Realm of Niembro where he is telling stories from the perspective of his Bretonnians in the same setting. 

Tuesday, July 28, 2026

Part 1: "Broken, But Breathing" // A Narrative Battle Report

Orcs & Goblins ⚔︎ Empire


The battle had been long and hard-fought, but the warband was ultimately shattered. Ugag and his mob had descended upon a small village in the foothills of the Grey Mountains when another host arrived. However, these humans were not the shiny boyz previously encountered. They were mercenaries from Reikland, likely under the service of a local Baron who received news of their latest pillaging. Not only did the mercenaries have more bodies on the field; they also had black powder. Ugag had broken off on his own, again, to charge directly into a group of fanatical rabble. Gruuma knew the mob wasn't worth their time. The sound option was to ride along the flank and take these new challengers from the rear. A handful of potbellied halflings hid in the woodline. Red-shafted arrows whizzed past their heads as the boars gained momentum. The halflings tried to turn and scamper up the boughs of gnarled oak and elm, but it was too late. Tusk and tooth shredded through the feeble bowline, and the woods rang with the high-pitched, jovial squeals of the boars as they feasted on flesh and bone. From his vantage point Gruuma took a moment to survey the situation. Ugag was out of sight. He knew it would be up to him to salvage whatever victory he could.

Halfling archers moments before impact

In the center of the field, Krekka the mad shaman and his mob of spears advanced toward the center formation of swordsmen. Gruuma could hear their battle cries as a company of quarrelers behind them let loose a volley of bolts. They missed the goblins, and in return Krekka gave the order to release the rabid fanatics hidden amongst the company. With ease the hooded freaks swung iron ball and chain, sweeping a path through the densely packed swordsmen and into the quarrelers. Gruuma saw the panic as the mercenaries sought to close the gaps made in their formation, and sprang to action. He broke from the trees and swept through the backline to aid the shaman.

The sound of black powder rang across the field. From his saddle he could see a group of outriders break the mob of boyz that held the warband's right flank. Boyz fled towards the woods, and the outriders made sport of it. They rode down the slowest lads, and wasted no time shooting them point blank. Ugag was nowhere to be seen, and the rabble that had originally been chasing emerged. In a tidal wave of fervor and hatred, they descended on the goblins. They wielded farm tools and crude weapons as if they were great-swords and battle axes. It didn't take long before the goblins broke and ran off into the woods too.

Ugag had led them over the mountains months ago, carving out the cave warren as a base to raid the region beyond. Now they retreated to it broken, boars lathered and blowing hard, the smell of blood and powder still thick in their nostrils. It was not the victory Gruuma wanted, but a warband that still breathed.

Ugag charging solo (again)

Enemies all around, luckily the goblin fanatics could be deployed

Swordsmen v Night Goblins

Campbell's classic Empire army

+ /+/ +

Summer has been full swing. It's taken me a while to write up this battle report (happened back in April). This 500 pt game took 6 full rounds and Empire packed quite the punch. The objective was simple: destroy your enemy. I made some errors (again) using my warboss solo which led to his early demise. Fanatics did a lot of work, but it wasn't enough. The Empire flagellants were crazy strong too, putting out a ton of hits and being relentless on the battlefield.

A lot more stuff has been painted since this battle report; and I'm hoping to be done soon. My poor playing has helped form a narrative for my warband that I'll expand on in Part 2. Battle March has recently came out and the crowd here is pretty hyped for the format. Looking forward to playing more TOW in the coming months!

- Mike

Tuesday, April 21, 2026

"Gork (Or Maybe Mork) Smiles" // First Game of the Old World




“Form up, youz squig-shits!” roared Ugag as he yanked the reins of his massive war-boar.

He smelled them before he saw them, and he was glad.

For three moons, his lads had pillaged the countryside, leaving nothing and no one standing. Ugag had grown frustrated. The only “opposition” they’d faced were rabble— peasants in roughspun tunics; men with too much gray in their beards, and boys barely able to lift a pitchfork.

It wasn’t until Gruuma, boss nob of his boar riders, suggested they leave survivors to spread the word.

Why survivors? Ugag had thought. Less carnage. Less fun.

Still, Gruuma had always been a shrewd one. At times, Ugag suspected the nob had goblin in him.

And truth be told, there was little sport left in killing farmers. His lads were getting bored. Soon they’d turn on each other… or worse, start squabbling with the goblins that had joined them.

These were not the same goblins that toiled in the warcamp. These were night goblins, led by Krekka da Red Whispa, a cunning shaman who never showed his face. They gorged on mushrooms that drove them into frenzies, and slicked their blades with ooze said to have withered Thrakka’s limbs to twigs.

Ugag snarled at the thought of ending up like Thrakka— all because the shiny gitz never showed.

So he had begrudgingly agreed with Gruuma.



The air shimmered as they crested the grassy knoll.

To their right, an old watchtower lay in ruin. To their left, a lazy creek wound downhill. In the center stood a small shrine and house dedicated to a god that was neither Gork nor Mork.

It was destined to burn.

That’s when Ugag saw them.

The high sun gleamed off polished armor. Colorful banners snapped in the breeze. The scent of horseflesh and sweat hit the back of Ugag's tongue.

Around him, shrill cries and deep bellows rose from the warband.

“Dak-ka! Dak-ka! Dak-ka!”

They drummed blades against crude shields and stomped their feet. Ugag felt his blood boil as the chant built to a crescendo, his vision reddening...

“WAAAAAAGH!”

He drove his heels into the flanks of his war-boar and charged straight for the Bretonnian line.

He expected Gruuma and the boar boyz to follow.

They didn’t.

Ugag bared his tusks. He would deal with Gruuma later.

He thundered into the field, great axe gripped in both hands. A sortie of shiny gitz rode to meet him, the ground trembling beneath their charge.

From the sortie, a group of knights peeled away in the direction of the watchtower.

Ahead, leading the remaining knights, was one rider.

He was young with a mane of golden hair. Green and white heraldry. A black serpent coiled across his shield.

Ugag roared and leaned into the charge.

The knight lowered his lance.

Its tip was shaped like a serpent’s head, its mouth open, a steel tongue thrust forward.

Ugag was too slow.

The serpent struck true.

The world became a crash of steel, splintering wood, and thunderous hooves as the knights rode him down, not even slowing as they passed.



Pinned beneath his war-boar, barely conscious, Ugag glimpsed the chaos unfolding.

The serpent knight slammed into the line of boyz as they descended from the knoll, failing, or perhaps choosing not, to see the goblins sweeping in on their flank.

From the goblin ranks came madness.

Two whirling shapes—torn linen and iron—hurtled forward like living missiles.

It was the fanatics.

They smashed into the knights' flank.

The crunch of steel. The snap of bone.

They tore through the formation of both men and greenskin without slowing.

Amid the carnage, Krekka danced with his totem-staff raised, voice shrieking. A halo of red energy flared above the mob of greenskins, forming a grimacing sun. The red-light gleamed across their blades.

The boyz surged forward, hacking with renewed fury.

The knights broke.

Seeing the charge had failed, they wheeled in panic and rode straight into the goblins closing on their flank.

From the old watchtower came the sound of hooves and screams.

A handful of knights returned, far fewer than had ridden out.

Behind them came Gruuma and his boar boyz, cackling as they ran the survivors down to the last man.




Ugag’s vision dimmed.

Arrows thudded into the dirt around him. A feeble volley gone wide.

Horn blasts sounded.

Hooves thundered past, fading toward the shrine.

“Dak-ka! Dak-ka!”

The chant swelled once more.

Then… another sound.

The jingle of spurs.

Heavy footsteps.

Slow. Deliberate.

Gruuma stepped into view, looming over him.

Not hurried. Not searching. Certain.

He crouched and took hold of Ugag’s harness, dragging him just enough from the mud to meet his gaze.

Their eyes locked.

In the nob’s expression… something like triumph. Something colder than victory.

Understanding.

As if this had always been the way of it.

Reflected in those fiery red pupils, Ugag saw a grin. Wide. Brutal.

Gork.

Or maybe Mork.

And then…

Blackness.

+/+/+

At my core, I’ll always choose fantasy over sci-fi, so it was a great pleasure to play my first game of the Old World with Sam (@realmofniembro). We’d been talking about running a (very) slow-grow narrative series. No pressure, no league, just playing games and letting the dice tell the story while we learn a new ruleset... Excuse the lack of paint as I work through these mob of gitz. 

Sam did an excellent job painting the terrain, and Forest helped ref the game as we worked our way through the rules. Definitely check out Sam’s write-up on his blog here, covering the same battle from the perspective of his knights.

There was a lot of interest at the shop to see neither AoS or 40k being played. A couple observers mentioned that they had fantasy armies at home and that they would be up for a game.

Anyway, we'll see what happens between Ugag and Gruuma in the next game.

- Mike

Rebirth & Revival - Updates A Year Later

Hey everyone!

It’s been over a year since I last updated this blog, and a lot has happened. In March of last year, I packed up all my stuff, got into my GTI, and drove from DC to Central Oregon with my girlfriend and dog. After three and a half days, we arrived safely at our new home. There were some beautiful stretches—Utah and Idaho especially—while other parts, like Iowa and Nebraska, were mental torture.

Why Central Oregon? My girlfriend’s stepdad is big into mountain biking and invited us on a trip out here in 2021. Being from the East Coast, I had never once considered visiting Oregon. It might as well have been another flyover state, but we were on the other side of the pandemic and wanted to get out of DC, so we tagged along. Bend is huge for outdoor recreation, with plenty to do year-round. It sounds cliché, but when I arrived, something clicked. Instantly, I knew this was where I wanted to be. Dry heat in the summer, friendly people, access to beautiful forests, a clean river to float on, and over 50 independent breweries—those are just a few of the perks.

Anyway, one major career change later, I had the flexibility to move where I wanted. So I chose Bend, Oregon. Now every day feels like a mini vacation.

My biggest barrier to the hobby has been… being outside. Which isn’t a bad thing. With so much to do, it’s hard to want to stay cooped up indoors. Aside from that, I’ve spent a lot of time working with my girlfriend to get the house put together, and thankfully we’re now in a good place.

Why Exquisite Brutality? 

In the Obelisk’s Shadow was never meant to be permanent. Back in DC, my apartment had a direct view of the Washington Monument, so it fit at the time. Exquisite Brutality is a reference to an old White Dwarf article (WD 192) that left a lasting impression on me as a teenager. TL;DR: the legendary Blanche talks about how the imagery of the Warhammer setting comes together; his thought process, influences, and approach. For two weeks, I waited in an empty house for the movers to arrive, rereading old White Dwarfs and codexes, itching to get my hands back on a paintbrush. The name felt like a fitting nod to something that inspired me all those years ago.

Bend is a small city, but it has a surprisingly lively hobby scene. The local store, Modern Games, has a great atmosphere, and I’ve managed to find a solid group of gamers who share a similar approach to the hobby. I even threw a Bash // Bash event in October to introduce Flames of Orion to the local crowd. 

Beyond Bend, there’s also an amazing contingent of talented and passionate gamers up in Portland. The drive is only about three hours through beautiful, scenic Oregon, which makes the time fly by... easily 10x better than three hours on I-95.

I plan  to post more frequently, and hope you plan on sticking around!

Mike

In October I held the first BASH//BASH to highlight Flames of Orion @ Modern Games, Bend.

Green Lakes

Canyon Creek Meadows

Campsite Cafe Bustelo